A Guide to Handling Rejections
How to deal with rejections as a writer
Hello and welcome to The Writer Story!
The other day I was browsing through the writing subreddits, which has become my fav past time rather than scrolling reels or tiktoks, and I read a poignant post from a writer who was frustrated with all the rejections they have received as a querying writer without any morsel of acknowledgement or nod towards success.
It felt like me six months ago, when I was a querying author myself, and I wanted to write this post about handling rejections.
Rejections are harsh.
Rejections are depressing.
Rejections are demotivating.
Rejections are like brutal stabs at your throat with a blunt knife; it bruises and it hurts and you’re bleeding, but you are still alive. Ah, silver lining.
No matter how great you are as a writer or how accomplished, you’ll have to face rejections. As I hear, it is part and parcel of the publishing business.
I am neither a great nor accomplished writer in any way. I’m barely making my way through the hodgepodge that is publishing, but one thing that I have collected heaps of are, yes you guessed that right, Rejections.
I don’t think there is any writer in existence, irrespective of how huge they are now, selling millions of copies of their books, they were still once rejected. And maybe in the future they’ll still be rejected too.
So what do we as writers need to do to handle these pesky, kindly worded yet heart-wrenching rejections that publishing throws at us.
Accumulate more rejections
It might seem counter-intuitive that to escape rejection, you need to get more of them. But hear me out.
You know, how when you start exercising after a long break, and the next day your muscles are crying for help and everything hurts, it’s because your muscles were damaged while exercising.
But the only way to get your muscles rebuilt and renewed is to continue the exercise regimen. Break you muscles until they are stronger.
It’s just like that.
The more you get rejected, you build your rejection muscle. Make it stronger, more resilient, so they don’t hurt (as much.)
Become a professional
As writers, we all start out as dreamers to one day be published, and the entire process feels too close to our heart. Something to cherish. Like a baby.
But once you decide to share your writing with the world, and step onto the path of publishing rather than just writing for the joy of it, you need to leave behind the personal.
Personal Emotions have no place in the professional business.
And the sooner you realize that publishing is a business, the better for your own mental and emotional health.
Once you switch on the professional with your writing, you’ll find that rejections are nothing to cry about. Just another day. Move on.
Find your community
I am sure you have heard many writers give the advice of building your community.
Having a few people who understand the writing business and are there to support you through the ups and downs of it, is what you need.
Building that support system can be a lifesaver, when you are spiralling into an imaginary abyss from a rejection you got,
Get away from social media
Social media is great. Sometimes.
Other times it’s a burning hellhole of everything obscene and soul-sucking.
As a writer, it’s not in our control to on what successes are landing in others laps, what we have control on is to rein our emotions.
So much of writing happens in this solitary bubble that seeing an agented post or a book deal post makes us feel less of, have imposter syndrome..
And it doesn’t matter how great an author you become, there will always be someone better than you.
And Comparison is not conducive to Creativity.
So drop the social media, drop the comparison, go back to your happy bubble.
Look at the bigger picture
Having your focus on the bigger picture, the prize, your dream helps with motivation and you can discard the rejections as stepping stones towards your goal.
If you are person who needs visual cues, make a huge poster with your goal written in block letters and hang it in front of your desk, make it your desktop, whatever helps you reminding the prize at the end of it.
Think of all the rejections as just incompatible opinions.
They are not about you, they are just incompatible opinions about your writing.
Your writing is not their type, that’s all.
If you can change your mindset about the rejections, you’ll be a happier person.
That’s all I have for now. Rejections can be depressing, but stay motivated however you can. I have seen rather creative ways people handle rejections, by creating art, rejection poetry (which was quite the trend on Twitter/X), or whatever your imaginative brain comes up with. Whatever you do, make sure you keep writing and do whatever you need to achieve your publishing goals.
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Until next week,
~Toodle-oo~